The Promise and Pitfalls of Online Dating

By miltonmankoff on Sat, 10-15-11, 06:14

Posted in Group:

Online Dating

I just want to introduce myself as a member of the counseling staff on this site and also say that as a sociologist focusing on human sexuality issues as well as a licensed therapist I am familiar with all of the aspects of online dating. In particular, i have had many clients who do not utilize online sites as well as they could or have unpleasant or confusing experiences which may needlessly discourage them from taking advantage of a very promising vehicle for meeting people they otherwise would never encounter.

I am happy to discuss your specific concerns and can be contacted through the list of counselors on this website.
Milton Mankoff

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By marcie on Wed, 10-19-11, 11:59

Online dating took away a personable approach from human being to human being. Majority of young people have the superficial attitude, because if you do not see a person, it is no big deal to dismiss and start all over again. There is no effort and will to know someone and dedicate their time for this purpose. Wishing you well. God bless you.

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By CK on Wed, 10-19-11, 12:00

Could you expound on the pitfalls and benefits of online dating? Brevity is fine. Thanks!

Sometimes I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast-Alice in Wonderland

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By miltonmankoff on Fri, 10-21-11, 05:27

The chief benefit is that online dating allows people access to a far wider pool of potential partners than would be possible underr normal circumstances. Unless one has a lifestyle in which one constantly meets many potentially desirable individuals online dating provides more choices.

The major pitfall flows from the benefits. More choices can also lead to forever being unsatisfied and endlessly trying to find someone "better" than the person you've just met and are happy with. Studies of consumer behavior of any kind indicate that the more choices one has the less likely one is to make a choice at all.

Other pitfalls specific to online dating are:
a) embellishing aspects of one's profile that would be impossible to do in a face-to-face encounter (e.g., apperarance)
b) the development of fantasies about an as yet unmet person based on lengthy email exchanges, phone conversations.

Both pitfalls can be overcome by meeting asap and not taking profiles or emails or phone calls too seriosuly in themselves, except to eliminate potential partners. I recommend an email or two, a phone conversation, a meeting

Sorry this wasn't brief, but not all ideas can be adequately expressed in a sentence or two.

"If you are currently seeking support and understanding, I would like to invite you to my online private practice. Click to view my profile.

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By April on Sun, 12-11-11, 17:33

Thanks Milton, this is very useful information & probably why I dont online date.

Choose wisely, treat kindly

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